


oblivious

by Noa



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Incest, M/M, Stridercest - Freeform, alpha stridercest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:17:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noa/pseuds/Noa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'd say that someone who has posters made of himself would realize how attractive he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oblivious

When Dave came into Dirk’s room  holding a high quality print of himself in each hand (how did he even open the door?), Dirk ignored him. Unfortunately for Dirk, Dave decided that he wasn’t intimidated by his teenage bro’s silence. He just stepped closer, posters held in front of him like a shield. Whenever Dirk glanced at him, Dave froze, but as soon as Dirk’s eyes were back on the monitor, Dave shuffled towards him. It was like a game: How close could Dave get before Dirk snapped. When Dirk felt the glossy paper of the prints touch his cheek, he decided he had enough of playing.

“I’m going to assume you have a perfectly valid reason for shoving two posters of yourself in my face.”  
“Stop being a little shit and just help me choose.”

Dirk sighed, and turned in his chair to look at the posters. Dave backed up a little, and thrust his arms forward. He peeked at Dirk over the top of the paper.

“So?” Dave asked.  
Dirk frowned, lifted his shades up for a moment, frowned a bit harder, then put them back on.

“They’re the same.” He said, sounding a bit tired.  
“No they aren’t.” Dave replied. He paused. “Wait are they?”

Dirk raised an eyebrow as his older brother tried to hold the posters in a way so he could see them himself. They were too big though, and after some awkward maneuvering and a few frustrated huffs,  Dave settled for laying the prints out on Dirk’s bed. He held his chin in his hand as he studied the images, left, right, then left again.

“No they aren’t.” Dave repeated, more confident. “Look in this one my name’s bigger.”  
Dirk got up from his chair, and took another look.  
“It’s not.” Dirk said.  
“Are you sure. I swear this D looks bigger here.” Dave pointed to the letter, but Dirk shook his head.  
“Nope. Those Ds are identical.”  
“Well they have to be different because my publicist just dropped these off and told me I had to pick one by tomorrow. So.”

They both stood by the bed for a moment, looking from one poster to the other as if they were watching a tennis match.

“Just tell me which one you like better?”  Dave asked, looking apologetic. Dirk sighed.  
“Fine, whatever.”

When Dirk looked at the posters without trying to win a hellish game of spot the differences, they weren’t actually that bad. The picture of Dave was very flattering, a shot from the waist up, trademark aviators hiding his eyes. Dirk noticed Dave’s lips had been touched up a bit, their chapped look smoothed out with the magic of Photoshop. His skin wasn’t as pale either, a touch of bronze sharpening the features of his face. The suit Dave wore was spotless, a charcoal black jacket over a crisp white dress shirt. The top two buttons were undone, revealing a glimpse of the hollow of Dave’s throat. This time, Dirk’s sigh wasn’t one of annoyance. He prayed his own genes would treat him just as well upon growing older, because his brother was _really fucking hot_.

“What do you think?” Dave asked hopefully. Dirk turned towards him to find he looked just as good (if not better) in real life.  
“Flip a coin bro.”  
Dave seemed to consider this for a moment.  
“Do you have a coin.”  
“Seriously?” Dirk asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be loaded?”  
“Yeah I thought of getting a pool filled up with cash but in the end I settled for a bank account.”  
“Lame.”  
“Make your own money to swim in scrooge mcDirk.”  
“Did you want that coin or not.”  
“Yes please.”

Some friendly bickering and a coin flip later, Dave was finally able to make his decision. He rolled up the prints, gathered them under his arm and headed for the door.

“Hey, bro?”  
“Yeah?” Dave replied, but then he paused. “Oh shit your coin. Here heads up.” He flung the coin at Dirk, who caught it single-handedly.  
“Nice catch.” Dave commented.  
“Thanks,” Dirk said. “but I was wondering if you could leave the rejected poster here.”  
Dave looked surprised.  
“You want it? Why?”  
“Friend at school’s a big fan.” Dirk lied through his teeth.  
“Oh,” Dave said, somewhat embarrassed, and Dirk couldn’t help but find it incredibly adorable how Dave still got flustered at things like this. “Yeah, sure.” He held the print out to Dirk, who took it from him with the most neutral expression he could manage.  
“Cool.”

-

When Dirk connected his latest creation to a power outlet, all the lights went out. He glanced up at the ceiling and counted to ten, hoping it was just a flicker rather than a blown fuse. When his room stayed dark, he mumbled to himself.  
“Oops.”

Dirk was pretty sure he heard Dave stumble at least twice before he managed to make his way to Dirk’s room. Thankfully, the door was already open. Dirk could barely make out Dave’s silhouette against the darkness of the hallway.  
“You OK there bro.” Dirk asked, knowing full-well why Dave nearly growled at him in reply.  
“Did you blow a fuse again.”  
“Maybe.”  
“What the fuck do you mean maybe?”  
“Well it could just be an-”

With a soft buzz, the lights went back on. Dave startled, and looked around as if someone called his name. Dirk blinked at him, noticing the absence of both shades and shirt. Wow. Yeah ok. Uh. He had to make an effort to remember what he was saying.

“-outage,” Dirk managed to finish. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt.” Dave pulled a face.  
“I was getting ready to shower.” His face spoke clear relief that he didn’t have to shower in the dark.  
Dirk nodded, way too distracted by his half-naked brother to focus on forming a coherent reply. Dave seemed oblivious to Dirk’s staring. He turned around, ready to leave, but then he froze.

“Dirk.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why do you have a poster of me on your wall.”

“Oh, that.” Dirk’s attempt at appearing natural was undermined by how long it took for him to answer. “My friend didn’t have room for it so I just,” He paused. “Hung onto it.”  
Dave didn’t look at Dirk. He was too busy scrutinizing the image of himself, as if he was still trying to find the difference they failed to see weeks ago. Dirk considered it a blessing, because he was sure one look at his face would give him away. Then, Dave turned around. Dirk swallowed, expecting to get called out on his lie.

“Ok cool.”

Then again, this was Dave. He muttered something about unreliable energy suppliers as he waddled back to the shower, and Dirk stared at his back until he closed the door behind him. It wasn’t until he heard water running, that Dirk breathed out a sigh of relief. He glanced at the poster, and smiled. For someone being voted Sexiest Bachelor of the Year, Dave was pretty fucking clueless. (And that was probably for the best.)

_-fin_


End file.
